很多時候, 夢想和現實都是兩回事。
我不太喜歡自己的大學, 主要原因是我覺得讀書氣氛不夠好, 我主修的科目是鋼琴演奏, 一門比較特別的科目, 不需要讀很多書或寫論文, 但是要用很多時間練琴, 一年三百六十五日無休, 所以準確一點來說, 應該是練琴氣氛不夠好。當初選這間學校是因為我的教授, 之前暑假參加音樂營認識了他, 覺得他是一名很好的老教授, 母親也有同感, 於是她問教授我是否有能力考大學, 假如可以考進他任教的學校, 可否跟他學習, 意外地教授很支持我, 而我在音樂系的面試也不算是很正式, 就這樣, 今年一月我便成為了這所大學的學生。一個學期很快便過去了, 教授和他的太太待我很好, 很照顧我, 跟教授習琴也不錯, 在大學的第一個暑假便跟他去了兩個音樂營, 教授對我的表現也很滿意, 而整個學期我的讀書成績也不錯。
照道理, 我應該很滿意, 但我總覺得缺少了一些東西, 那就是鬥心。回想自己在過去一個的生活, 其實是挺頹廢, 真正用心練琴的日子不算多, 什至比我之前在香港讀書時少。我被這問題困擾了很久, 直至暑假時我才明白到問題所在, 那就是學習環境和氣氛。美國和香港的教育制度大有不同, 學生會選擇自己喜歡的科目, 所以音樂系每一個學生都很喜歡音樂, 但是主修演奏的學生會花多少時間在練琴上, 那又是另一回事, 我覺得學校除了個別數位學生之外, 一般學生不算是特別用功練琴。
我從小學到中學, 都是在家長眼中的「名校」讀書, 同學之間的競爭很大, 也許是我已經習惯了這種學習環境, 所以來到這大學, 心裏總覺很不太舒服。我中學時候才決定讀音樂, 起步比別人遲, 加上我打算完成學位課程一直深造, 所以當初選學校便沒有考慮那些音樂學院, 而選一些音樂系規模較小的大學(即是沒有什麼名氣的學校), 找一個好老師, 在幾年內打好根底, 畢業後才考音樂學院讀碩士。很美滿的計劃, 學期初聽到學系的高年级學生練一些很艱深的作品, 我便鼓勵自己要用功, 不過後來看到晚飯後回學校練琴的人越來越少, 我便開始泄氣, 我感到很迷失, 做事沒有幹勁。
我有想過轉校, 練好一套曲目轉音樂學院, 但是轉校有很多問題。首先, 我自問沒有良好的基礎, 有沒有能力考進去也是一個問題。之前在音樂營認識了一些音樂學院的學生, 他們告訴我考學校的「遊戲」其實是"50 % audition, 50% connection", 美國學生在報名前數個月要找音樂學院的教授上課, 確定了教授收他們為學生才申請學校, 然後面試。這是現實, 每年申請音樂學院的學生非常多, 當中有天份的人也不少, 但學位有限, 學校決定收錄哪一名學生, 便要看那些教授可以收多少名學生。我在connection這部分已經輸了, 彈琴又不是特別出色, 考到的機會率很低。第二個問題, 就是轉校其實是對我老師不敬, 我的教授不算是極著名, 但是他在教學上的成就是得到不少人的認同, 即使我幸運地考進音樂學院, 音樂這圈子很狹窄, 將來我參加比賽難免會碰到他。另外還有很多問题, 如學費會較昂貴和轉學分等問題。
我想轉校, 但現實不容許我這樣你, 很大機會要留在這間大學自完成學位課程。我很懷疑當初是我父母下錯決定, 選擇這所學校, 還是我自己的問题。
15.7.08
11.7.08
Summer
Done with the concert last night. It was quite exhausting to play in a concert that lasted for more than 1 hour. I took a really good rest today.
Finally I can get back to my solo pieces. I will have to finish learning the whole Rachmaninoff Paganini Rhapsody. Hopefully, I can memorise it as well. Also, prepare a few new pieces to play for my teacher when I go back to school next month. There are some other things that I need to go in the summer. The first one is probably buying new clothes. My clothes have become much smaller after being washed and dried in the machines in the USA. Also, I need to find some time to meet some old friends. Last but not least, I must throw away some useless stuff as my desk doesn't have much space left.
Finally I can get back to my solo pieces. I will have to finish learning the whole Rachmaninoff Paganini Rhapsody. Hopefully, I can memorise it as well. Also, prepare a few new pieces to play for my teacher when I go back to school next month. There are some other things that I need to go in the summer. The first one is probably buying new clothes. My clothes have become much smaller after being washed and dried in the machines in the USA. Also, I need to find some time to meet some old friends. Last but not least, I must throw away some useless stuff as my desk doesn't have much space left.
5.7.08
室樂
星期日從俄羅斯回來, 這幾天都很忙碌, 每天都要跟朋友Y綵排數小時, 很累。
室樂比獨奏辛苦得多, 加上我之前有三個多星期沒有跟朋友Y練習, 大家的演繹方法又有改變, 结果花了不少時間在討論意見, 討論完畢後又要實驗, 又沒有老師的指導, 有時候也會感到很沮喪。室樂最麻煩的地方在於每一個人的性格和對音樂的認真程度都不同, 演繹風格又不一樣, 而且合室樂最重要的是聆聽, 只有互相聽着對方才可以合得好, 不過很多人都做不到, 只顧着自己的部分, 不理會其他人, 朋友Y很多時候都不聽鋼琴的部分, 結果整首樂曲聽上去一團糟。在音樂上, 我一向追求完美, 有時候練習多次效果也是不理想我會很容易「忟憎」, 不過跟別人合奏我便要盡力保持冷靜, 否則只會浪費時間在吵架上。
離音樂會只有數天, 要盡能力做到最好。
室樂比獨奏辛苦得多, 加上我之前有三個多星期沒有跟朋友Y練習, 大家的演繹方法又有改變, 结果花了不少時間在討論意見, 討論完畢後又要實驗, 又沒有老師的指導, 有時候也會感到很沮喪。室樂最麻煩的地方在於每一個人的性格和對音樂的認真程度都不同, 演繹風格又不一樣, 而且合室樂最重要的是聆聽, 只有互相聽着對方才可以合得好, 不過很多人都做不到, 只顧着自己的部分, 不理會其他人, 朋友Y很多時候都不聽鋼琴的部分, 結果整首樂曲聽上去一團糟。在音樂上, 我一向追求完美, 有時候練習多次效果也是不理想我會很容易「忟憎」, 不過跟別人合奏我便要盡力保持冷靜, 否則只會浪費時間在吵架上。
離音樂會只有數天, 要盡能力做到最好。
3.6.08
俄羅斯簽證
昨天去俄羅斯領事館申請簽證, 由於音樂營遲遲沒有寄出「邀請信」, 而我星期五便會離開香港, 這令我只有數天時間去辦簽證, 而簽證一般要一星期才可以辦好, 我只能額外付錢辦「急證」, 承惠九百元。這實在是非常昂貴, 簽證只有效一次旅程, 倘若日後我想去俄羅斯, 又要再次付錢申請簽證, 「普通證」收費要四百元。
對俄羅斯領事館沒有什麼好感, 職員態度十分惡劣, 回答問題的語氣像在罵人。俄羅斯領事館的工作量可真是極少, 申請簽證的人不多, 昨天早上我去領事館時只有六、七人左右, 有些職員更是悠閒得坐在櫃台前發呆。 辦簽證既昂貴又效率低, 只是貼一張纸在護照裏也要一個星期, 申請簽證的人又少, 根本辦一份簽證不需要一星期這麼長時間, 但辦「急證」便要收取九百大元, 那真是搶錢, 而那些領事簡直是一群「懶鬼」。
星期五將會展開我的「音樂營之旅」, 第一個音樂營是在美國密蘇里(Missouri)舉行, 這是一個室樂音樂營, 我被編排了跟幾位學生合奏David Diamond Quintet in B minor for Flute, Strings Trio & Piano的第一樂章, 一首現代作品, 對David Diamond這位美國作曲家毫無認識。之前音樂營的職員把樂譜寄去我在美國的地址, 擾攘了數天, 結果要勞煩Director電郵樂譜給我, 他們預期學生在上星期二收到樂譜, 但是我星期六才收到, 我只有少於一星期的時間準備, 但是作品頗難彈, 希望可以在短時間把它練好。
這個音樂營完結後過兩天我將會去俄羅斯參加另一個音樂營, 這段時間我便會去新澤世(New Jersey)探望契媽, 然後前往俄羅斯聖彼得堡(St. Petersburg)。我從未去過俄羅斯, 這地方有着很濃厚的藝術氣息, 沒有記錯的話, 音樂營的其中一個節目會去看芭蕾舞劇, 俄羅斯的芭蕾舞很有名, 這是很難得的機會。
很期待去俄羅斯, 我要買俄羅斯娃娃(和魚子醬), 哈哈! :D
對俄羅斯領事館沒有什麼好感, 職員態度十分惡劣, 回答問題的語氣像在罵人。俄羅斯領事館的工作量可真是極少, 申請簽證的人不多, 昨天早上我去領事館時只有六、七人左右, 有些職員更是悠閒得坐在櫃台前發呆。 辦簽證既昂貴又效率低, 只是貼一張纸在護照裏也要一個星期, 申請簽證的人又少, 根本辦一份簽證不需要一星期這麼長時間, 但辦「急證」便要收取九百大元, 那真是搶錢, 而那些領事簡直是一群「懶鬼」。
星期五將會展開我的「音樂營之旅」, 第一個音樂營是在美國密蘇里(Missouri)舉行, 這是一個室樂音樂營, 我被編排了跟幾位學生合奏David Diamond Quintet in B minor for Flute, Strings Trio & Piano的第一樂章, 一首現代作品, 對David Diamond這位美國作曲家毫無認識。之前音樂營的職員把樂譜寄去我在美國的地址, 擾攘了數天, 結果要勞煩Director電郵樂譜給我, 他們預期學生在上星期二收到樂譜, 但是我星期六才收到, 我只有少於一星期的時間準備, 但是作品頗難彈, 希望可以在短時間把它練好。
這個音樂營完結後過兩天我將會去俄羅斯參加另一個音樂營, 這段時間我便會去新澤世(New Jersey)探望契媽, 然後前往俄羅斯聖彼得堡(St. Petersburg)。我從未去過俄羅斯, 這地方有着很濃厚的藝術氣息, 沒有記錯的話, 音樂營的其中一個節目會去看芭蕾舞劇, 俄羅斯的芭蕾舞很有名, 這是很難得的機會。
很期待去俄羅斯, 我要買俄羅斯娃娃(和魚子醬), 哈哈! :D
27.5.08
演奏會
前兩天, 拉大提琴的朋友Y說:「哈哈, 我們破了浸大記錄, 有勇氣在學校開演奏會。」
真的, 要在同輩面前演奏是需要很大的勇氣, 因為一般主修演奏的學生都不會同意其他人的演繹方法, 而且他們會將別人的演奏跟著名鋼琴家的彈法作比較, 所以大部分意見都是偏向反面的, 有些人品格修養差, 亳不留情地批評別人, 什至在數人家有多少個錯音。因此, 對於在同輩面前彈琴, 我一向都是可免則免, 不過對於別人的意見, 無論是好還是壞, 我都會樂意接納。
演奏會將會在七月九日在浸大LT3舉行, 我和朋友Y都很期待!
真的, 要在同輩面前演奏是需要很大的勇氣, 因為一般主修演奏的學生都不會同意其他人的演繹方法, 而且他們會將別人的演奏跟著名鋼琴家的彈法作比較, 所以大部分意見都是偏向反面的, 有些人品格修養差, 亳不留情地批評別人, 什至在數人家有多少個錯音。因此, 對於在同輩面前彈琴, 我一向都是可免則免, 不過對於別人的意見, 無論是好還是壞, 我都會樂意接納。
演奏會將會在七月九日在浸大LT3舉行, 我和朋友Y都很期待!
26.5.08
Summer Holiday
I must admit that I get lazier. I haven't updated here for nearly one month.
My first semester in college is over. I viewed my GPA two days ago and I got 3.71. It is quite impossible to get 4 because I can never score A for English. This is not my first language and the professor usually gives B+ only as my course focuses on composition. Still, I hope that I will get a higher GPA next semester. This will be a challenge for me as I will take more than 18 credit hours while the maximum is 20.
I have come back home for one week already. Perhaps it's because I lived alone for the past two months, I felt a bit strange when I arrived at home. There is so much freedom when living alone. I can do anything at any time. The most important thing is that no one controls my sleeping time. Nevertheless, I see my parents all the time and they push me to bed at around 12:30a.m. every night. Beyond doubts, I am not allowed to stay up late. I am afraid that I will gain weight during my stay in HK. There is good food everywhere. I eat more than before. Also, I sleep more many hours every day. People usually gain weight when they study abroad but it seems that my situation is the opposite.
The summer holiday will last for three months. I predict that it will be an exciting one. Firstly, I will go to two music camps. One in Missouri, USA and another one in St. Petersburg, Russia. Sadly, the procedure for applying a tourist visa to Russia is very complicated. Right now, I still haven't received the invitation for the visa while the camp will start on 17th June. St. Petersburg is a very nice place and I really want to go there. Besides that, Russia was the country where my favourite composer, Rachmaninoff was born. Just see how things work out.
My first semester in college is over. I viewed my GPA two days ago and I got 3.71. It is quite impossible to get 4 because I can never score A for English. This is not my first language and the professor usually gives B+ only as my course focuses on composition. Still, I hope that I will get a higher GPA next semester. This will be a challenge for me as I will take more than 18 credit hours while the maximum is 20.
I have come back home for one week already. Perhaps it's because I lived alone for the past two months, I felt a bit strange when I arrived at home. There is so much freedom when living alone. I can do anything at any time. The most important thing is that no one controls my sleeping time. Nevertheless, I see my parents all the time and they push me to bed at around 12:30a.m. every night. Beyond doubts, I am not allowed to stay up late. I am afraid that I will gain weight during my stay in HK. There is good food everywhere. I eat more than before. Also, I sleep more many hours every day. People usually gain weight when they study abroad but it seems that my situation is the opposite.
The summer holiday will last for three months. I predict that it will be an exciting one. Firstly, I will go to two music camps. One in Missouri, USA and another one in St. Petersburg, Russia. Sadly, the procedure for applying a tourist visa to Russia is very complicated. Right now, I still haven't received the invitation for the visa while the camp will start on 17th June. St. Petersburg is a very nice place and I really want to go there. Besides that, Russia was the country where my favourite composer, Rachmaninoff was born. Just see how things work out.
29.4.08
大學生活
入大學以後一直過着「無王管」的生活, 養成了很多壞習慣。
壞習慣包括:
1. 日夜癲倒
2. 極度依賴咖啡
3. 食無定時
4. 經常以杯麵或微波爐食物代替正餐
5. 夜歸
一心想着來了美國讀書可以擺脫父母的管束, 怎料這幾個月反而要常常聽他們訓話, 原因只有一個:這些壞習慣會影響健康。
壞習慣包括:
1. 日夜癲倒
2. 極度依賴咖啡
3. 食無定時
4. 經常以杯麵或微波爐食物代替正餐
5. 夜歸
一心想着來了美國讀書可以擺脫父母的管束, 怎料這幾個月反而要常常聽他們訓話, 原因只有一個:這些壞習慣會影響健康。
8.4.08
ROCK CHALK, JAYHAWK!!
KU won the national championship game!! The game was really breathtaking and impressive. After waiting for 20 years, KU brought the long-waited championship back. As a student of the university, I was so proud of the basketball team.
Both teams were very strong. It happened that each team gave shots alternately. As the game continued, Memphis was a few points ahead of KU. In the very last 10 seconds, everyone was so frustrated because Memphis was 3 points ahead of us. It was quite a hopeless situation. Making a 3-point shot was the only way to change the disappointing result. Suddenly, KU hit a 3-pointer with 2.1 seconds left in regulation and tied the score at 63. No one believed it when the ball hit the net. The scene was just wonderful! I had to say that it was so sudden. Even the coach and the members of our team could hardly believe it. As I watched the game in a house with a large group of people, the atmosphere was really strong. When the score was tied, my friends and I all shouted loudly and joyfully. Everyone in the house just jumped up and down with hyper. I still remember that my throat was really scratchy because of the prolonged shouting.
The game was moved to overtime. This 5 minutes duration was really crucial. KU did their very best and made a few shots in short time. The morale was excellent, and they did even better. It was really discouraging to Memphis and this lowered their morale. They didn't perform well. Finally, KU achieved a victory of 75-68.
There were good things about the opposite team. Yet, their free throw shots were quite bad. They missed some critical shots. All these cost a championship. This allowed KU to use fouling as the strategy to win the game.
After the basketball game, I rushed to Downtown with my friends. The whole street was emerged with people. Probably more than 90% of KU students were there. Almost everyone high-fived at each other. I could barely hear what other people said because it was so noisy. It was fun to feel the atmosphere of the people living in the town. I didn't enter the bars because they were all fully occupied. However, I got two glasses of alcoholic drinks at the house. The drink was a mixture of Vanilla Vodka, concentrated cranberry juice, sprite and water. Strangely, it tasted like cheesecake. I didn't know the ingredients before taking the first glass. It was the moment when I refilled the drink, I found that the Vanilla Vodka consists of 35% alcohol. My friend only added a small amount to the drink because of my young age. I didn't get drunk but I felt quite hot when taking the drink.
It was such a memorable evening! ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!!
Both teams were very strong. It happened that each team gave shots alternately. As the game continued, Memphis was a few points ahead of KU. In the very last 10 seconds, everyone was so frustrated because Memphis was 3 points ahead of us. It was quite a hopeless situation. Making a 3-point shot was the only way to change the disappointing result. Suddenly, KU hit a 3-pointer with 2.1 seconds left in regulation and tied the score at 63. No one believed it when the ball hit the net. The scene was just wonderful! I had to say that it was so sudden. Even the coach and the members of our team could hardly believe it. As I watched the game in a house with a large group of people, the atmosphere was really strong. When the score was tied, my friends and I all shouted loudly and joyfully. Everyone in the house just jumped up and down with hyper. I still remember that my throat was really scratchy because of the prolonged shouting.
The game was moved to overtime. This 5 minutes duration was really crucial. KU did their very best and made a few shots in short time. The morale was excellent, and they did even better. It was really discouraging to Memphis and this lowered their morale. They didn't perform well. Finally, KU achieved a victory of 75-68.
There were good things about the opposite team. Yet, their free throw shots were quite bad. They missed some critical shots. All these cost a championship. This allowed KU to use fouling as the strategy to win the game.
After the basketball game, I rushed to Downtown with my friends. The whole street was emerged with people. Probably more than 90% of KU students were there. Almost everyone high-fived at each other. I could barely hear what other people said because it was so noisy. It was fun to feel the atmosphere of the people living in the town. I didn't enter the bars because they were all fully occupied. However, I got two glasses of alcoholic drinks at the house. The drink was a mixture of Vanilla Vodka, concentrated cranberry juice, sprite and water. Strangely, it tasted like cheesecake. I didn't know the ingredients before taking the first glass. It was the moment when I refilled the drink, I found that the Vanilla Vodka consists of 35% alcohol. My friend only added a small amount to the drink because of my young age. I didn't get drunk but I felt quite hot when taking the drink.
It was such a memorable evening! ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!!
6.4.08
Final
I found that I have made a mistake. This evening's basketball match was only the semi-final, my school vs North Caroline. Anyway, my school won and we got 18 points ahead the opposite team! It was my first time to watch a basketball game. I only watched the 2nd quarter but it was really exciting. Everyone shouted and jumped whenever the team made a good shot. Of course, they rushed to downtown after the game.
Next Monday night, the game will be my school against Memphis. Classes may be cancelled on Tuesday if they win.:D
Go, Jayhawk!!
Next Monday night, the game will be my school against Memphis. Classes may be cancelled on Tuesday if they win.:D
Go, Jayhawk!!
2.4.08
Jayhawk
My college has a very strong basketball team. Most American basketball fans know my school just because of the team. Ironically, I am now studying in this college and I know nothing about the basketball team. I never care about their games and results. I don't even know that blue is the colour of ur team. See how dumb I am.
There was a match on Sunday night. My college got into final 4. Everyone got really crazy. I heard people shouting when I went to bed. At that time, it was about 2a.m. already. I couldn't imagine what had happened in downtown. The next morning, there were many students absent because they were too excited to sleep or they couldn't get up early.
My classmate told me that there will be a game this Saturday. The team will become the national champion if they win. It will be a piece of good news. Not many Hong Kong people have heard of my college though it is in a fine position in the national rankings. Some of its academic programs are the best among all US universities. If the basketball team wins the game, I will be able to tell people about the national championships when they ask me about my college.
Jayhawk! :D
There was a match on Sunday night. My college got into final 4. Everyone got really crazy. I heard people shouting when I went to bed. At that time, it was about 2a.m. already. I couldn't imagine what had happened in downtown. The next morning, there were many students absent because they were too excited to sleep or they couldn't get up early.
My classmate told me that there will be a game this Saturday. The team will become the national champion if they win. It will be a piece of good news. Not many Hong Kong people have heard of my college though it is in a fine position in the national rankings. Some of its academic programs are the best among all US universities. If the basketball team wins the game, I will be able to tell people about the national championships when they ask me about my college.
Jayhawk! :D
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