2 years

I started this blog in December 2006. It has been more than 2 years already.

I want to move to another place.

December

December indicates that the fall semester is going to end very soon. Of course, very busy in finishing schoolworks and preparing for the finals.

Going back to HK on 20th December. I'm so excited to go home since I miss the food a lot.:) Going to stay in HK for 3 weeks.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to myself! I am now an adult. Next month when I go back to HK, I will get a new I.D. (I must make sure that I won't take an ugly picture...)

P.S. Thank you very much for celebrating with me and the gift.:)

放棄

在Concerto Competition的前兩天, 我選擇了放棄這比賽, 因為我的樂曲還未準備好, 沒有把握去參賽。兩星期之前為準備另一個比賽, 沒有花很多時間在Rach Pag, 實則上我只有少於兩星期的時間去練好這樂曲, 很勉強地把整首樂曲背過來, 但是經常有memory slips, 表現很怯。老師認為參賽不是一件好事, 因為一般人在台上都會緊張, memory slips的情況必然會更嚴重, 彈得差, 自己覺得不開心, 評判也不好受, 最惨的是被評判記着。老師讓我自己作決定, 起初聽了老師的意見感到很失望, 但考慮了一段時間, 我覺得與其要在別人面前丟臉, 倒不如及早放棄, 我不想自己心裏留下陰影。另外, 不能參加這次比賽, 日後還有很多機會, 用心把Rach Pag練好, 作為下次比賽的參賽曲目。

從小到大未試過在比賽前放棄, 今次作出這決定需要很大勇氣, 傳了電郵給學校樂團的指揮, 之後倒是鬆一口氣, 過去兩星期一直都覺得好大壓力, 很努力練琴, 但心裏清楚知道自己未達到能夠參賽的水平, 現在沒有去參賽, 心情輕鬆了很多。其實, 棄權並沒有我想像中這般差, 每一個修讀演奏的人都很明白這感覺, 當你未準備好便要上台表演, 心裏承受着很大壓力, 雖然可能只需要彈十分鐘, 但那絕對會是一件很痛苦的事, 加上觀眾的注意力全都放在你一個人身上, 表現不好的心裏真是很難受。

比賽

星期日參加KMTA State Honors Audition, 得了Collegiate Freshman/Sophomore Piano第三名, 有一面銅牌, 第一次拿獎牌, 很開心。:P 過了KMTA要專心練Rachmaninoff Paganini Rhapsody, Rach Pag一直都學得很慢, 所以我決定報名參加學校的Concerto Competition來逼自己趕快把它練好, 比賽將會在下星期六舉行, 時間不多, 我必須「趕工」, 雖然比賽沒有要求背譜, 但是我一向覺得翻譜會分心, 所以我會盡量把整首樂曲背過來, 可惜Rachmaninoff的作品真是很難背...

另外, 這星期六會幫兩位師兄伴奏Rachmaninoff 2nd Piano Concerto 1st mvt., 要四個小時的車程才去到比賽地點。一向很喜歡Rach 2, 練Piano II的部分時哼着solo的旋律, 真是很想學這首Concerto, 將來一定要學Rach 2。

每次有比賽, 我都是非常不願意去上課, 只想專心留在department裡練琴。即使去了上課, 我腦海裡都是想着樂曲, 導師的講解我一句都聽不入耳。不過為了出席率, 還是要乖乖去上課=.=

粥

今早在學校吃早餐時, 見到有位韓國朋友在吃自備的「即食粥」, 她告訴我「粥」的韓文跟廣東話的讀音很相似。我沒有問她韓式的粥有什麼材料, 不過看着那碗粥, 我便很懷念我最愛吃的鹹瘦肉粥。這是我從小到大在粥鋪唯一會點的粥, 十七年多(快要十八年...)從沒有改變過, 間中會要皮蛋, 但一般情況下我都是要鹹瘦肉粥。去粥鋪我從來不會看餐牌, 因為我多年來都是獨沽一味, 根本從來沒有想過要點其他款式。

我很想吃鹹瘦肉粥...=.=

假期

時間過得很快, 這個學期原來已經過了一半。這個學期一點都不好玩, 原因是我讀太多學分, 我讀18個學分(最高限制是20), 很辛苦, 吸取了教訓, 下學期一定要讀少一些學分, 而且我打消了「三年半畢業」這念頭, 倒是計劃副修其他科目, 又或者讓老師幫我安排去德國一個學期當交換生, 前後一共讀四年半, 這樣我便可以在五月畢業, 對申請碩士課程較為方便。

之前fall break的時候生病, 四天的假期我都留在房裏休息, 我覺得自己白白浪費了一個假期, 所以很期待下個月的thanksgiving week, 我的生日是thanksgiving前兩天, 而媽媽會來Kansas跟我慶祝生日, 雖然不能在正日慶祝生日, 但是可以去Kansas City跟媽媽見面和去逛一逛, 我已經很滿足。媽媽着我有空的時候便想一下有什麼禮物想要, 還有想吃的食物。:D

Sick

The four-days fall break is over. I didn't feel like I had a fall break because I started to get sick at the night before the first day of holiday. I had severe headache, muscle ache through my whole body, and also fever. The pain stopped for a while occasionally, but most of the time I was suffering from the pain. I slept for almost two full days and then I felt a bit better on Saturday morning. However, in the afternoon I started to feel the pain again and my boyfriend drove me to the hospital.

I gave the nurse in the registration a hard time. As I was below 18 and I didn't have a parent or guardian in the USA, the registration procedure was slightly complicated. The nurse had to make calls to ask the administrative staff how to deal with my case. Later, they understood that I am an international student, so they just left the blank "Patient Parent/Guardian Signature" empty. They first checked my pulse, temperature etc. The reading of my pulse was 135 and the nurse was shocked. He checked it again and it was 137. I actually didn't realise that a 135 pulse was very high until I saw the light flashing on the screen of the machine. I was then sent to see a nurse practitioner. As they were worried that I had a flu, they drew my blood and some other my excretions to send to the lab. Thank god that the blood test was very successful this time. As Americans worked very slowly, it took more than 1 hour for the lab results to come out.

I called home while waiting. When I heard my mom's voice, I started crying like a little kid because I missed home a lot at that moment. My mom thought that I was scared but I explained that I just missed her a lot when I was sick. Mom replied, "Of course you miss home. You have been away from home for 2 months already. And you used to eat my food when you were sick. Now I'm not beside you to cook for you." I got homesick when I was sick...

At last, the lab result came out. The doctor said that I didn't have a flu, only viral infection. He then asked me if I have had any blood problems before as the blood test showed that both the white blood cells and blood platelets in my blood were low. It was unusual and he guessed that it was probably because of the virus.
As there were no medicines for viral infection, I could only take Tylenol and Advil for aches and temperature. I was asked to take quite a lot of pills - 2 tablets of Tylenol every 6 hours and 3 tablets of Advil every 6 hours. Since it's not very good to take 2 kinds of medicines at the same time, I took Tylenol and Advil alternately. That means first Tylenol, Advil 3 hours later, then Tylenol 3 hours later, so on so forth. As I had to maintain a regular intake of medicines, I had to wake up at the midnight to take the pills. I didn't get a very good sleep since I had to wake up every 3 hours.

I need to re-take blood test on Monday and no school on Monday and Tuesday.

怪人

在不少人眼中, 讀音樂的人都是「怪人」, 我也是其中之一, 我對"anti-social"、"socially awkward"這類字詞的感覺已經麻木了, 也不介意別人在背後這樣形容我。

我不會否認自己的社交生活少, 一來沒有這麼多時間, 二來我跟大部分香港學生話題不多, 也不太跟他們一起外出, 而美國朋友週末也不會有很多節目, 一般都是去教會和休息, 生活較為簡單。如果真是對音樂有熱誠, 修讀演奏的人的生活其實都是「無休」, 當然每個人花在練琴的時間都不同, 但我覺得練琴是每天都應該做的事, 練多少是另一回事, 但最少也要用少許時間去彈琴, 保持手部肌肉的狀態, 我間中會「偷懶」一天, 不過之後心裏總會有一份罪惡感, 而且雙手感覺好奇怪, 會感到自己有個動作沒有做, 那就是彈琴的動作, 我試過在乘飛機時在桌上或自己的腿上練習, 但感覺非常不舒服, 所以一定要在鋼琴上練習才有效。練琴是沒有練完的一刻, 現在你也許會認為自己的彈奏很完美, 但下一刻再彈同一首樂曲的時候, 你應該會找到可以繼續進步的地方。有時候朋友約我外出而我又拒絕, 他們會問：「練少一日唔駛死掛?」, 我只能無奈地微笑。

我不太擅於社交, 犬其是在一大群我不認識而又不懂音樂的人當中, 我會感到沒有什麼話可以講, 自然地我會當旁聽者, 我曾經逼自己嘗試講話, 不過聽到自己在胡扯一番, 我便覺得自己像個笨蛋, 倒不如保持沉默, 現在我會盡量找相熟的朋友一起去, 什至避免出席這類場合。我其實是可以很健談, 不過一般只有讀音樂的人才會認識到。

Lalo Symphonie Espagnole

Addicted to Lalo Symphonie Espagnole recently, especially the 1st mvt. I don't have the recording but it's not difficult to find videos on Youtube. Here is a video of the 1st mvt which I really like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjuS4TJZ3ww

The soloist and I study at the same university. She is one of the best violinists at school. I will probably do some chamber music with her this semester. I am sure that I will learn a lot through working with her. Looking forward to it!

1 month

It has been almost a month since I updated here last time. Lots of things happened and there were quite many ups and downs, of course.

So glad that I still survive in my theory class. My theory professor's class is so intensive and it takes so much time to complete the assignments. I used to do very well in ear-training part but this semester I totally suck in it. The professor likes to use orchestral works or string quartets and then we are asked to dictate the soprano and bass line. I always fail to hear the bass line and I can't really analyse the harmony.

I started to slack off after the first few weeks of school. I have trouble in attending 8am class again. It's quite strange that I can stay up late to work but I never succeed in getting up earlier.

There is one Undergraduate Honors Recital every semester. The faculty of each division selects students to audition for the recital based on the performance in the jury exams of the previous semester. For piano division, the professors usually pick students of senior years instead of freshmen and sophomore. Surprisingly, I was nominated as the alternate student to audition for the recital. Yet, my professor didn't tell me about that and I didn't even care about the audition. The audition was held on Wednesday night and I suddenly got a call from my teacher on Sunday night. He said that someone had dropped out and he asked me if I wanted to take the place. Of course, the first question was "Will you have anything to play?". I remained silent for a few seconds. Then I answered, "Perhaps Liszt La Campanella?". Frankly, I still hadn't memorised the piece when I decided to play La Campanella as the audition piece. I had been working on the piece for more than 1 month but it wasn't very refined. There were only 3 days till the audition. I couldn't resist frowning and sighing after hanging up. At last, I managed to memorise the piece completely on Wednesday morning. Of course, I was nervous during the audition. At last, I couldn't get into it. I was a bit unhappy but the "results" were actually quite good. 3 out of 5 piano majors were chosen; 1 student of each professor's studio. Including me, there were totally 2 students of my professor's studio taking the audition for the honors recital. The other student is a senior and he plays well. There is no reason for the jury to choose me if they can select only 1 student from my teacher's studio. Besides, I have signed up to perform in a formal dinner organised by the alumni association at the same time of the Undergraduate Honors Recital. I can't do both performances. So, not being able to perform in the recital is not a bad thing.

I got my first job last Friday. It was sort of teaching and accompanying. My "student" was an eight-year-old cellist. She had problems on the rhythm and her mother wanted me to help her. Therefore, I taught how to get the rhythm and also, how to use a metronome, as well as accompanying the piece. As it was my firs time to "teach" a little kid, I was very nervous. And because I am a very picky person, I was worried that the little girl would feel unhappy and frustrated when I told her what she had to change or improve. Yet, her mom was glad that I gave so critical comments and she asked if I would have time to have a lesson next week. Of course, I was happy when she asked that. The little girl played very musically but the tempo spoiled everything. I would be happy to help her to deal with this problem though it's very challenging.

The contents in the post seems quite random. However, I really want to write about some special things that happened last month.

Timbre

Played 1st mvt of Mozart Piano Sonata No.8 in A minor, KV 310 in a masterclass this afternoon. Mozart wrote this piano sonata after his mother's death. He and his father were on a tour at that time and they couldn't go back on time to attend the funeral. Seriously, it is a very difficult piece. I had a hard time in getting into the music. My mother is still alive and at this moment, I can't totally understand the feelings. I tried my best to imagine how I would feel if my mom dies. Actually, I thought a lot about my mom after playing in the class. And I had a tendency to cry but fortunately, I managed to control my emotions.

The masterclass teacher was Carine Gutlerner who was an alumni of my school. She studied with my professor before. My playing was not extremely good but overall, it was fine. Carine's comment was "very sensitive; so refined". I was very surprised that she said "very sensitive" for quite a few times. She worked on the timbre (tone quality) and climaxes of the phrases with me. I really like her suggestions on the different kinds of sounds. What affects the timbre is actually the hand motions. A small difference on the hand movements can make a huge change. Well, I couldn't improve that right after Carine's demonstration. It just takes a long time to explore and master the skills on producing a good tone.

I am going to put the word "timbre" in my mind. I will always remember that.

Life

Damn busy since the first day of school.

I used to take only little time on theory music. However, this semester I am taking a professor’s class instead of a GTA's one. This professor's theory class is recognized to be very intensive. I find it very true. The assignments are very difficult.

It's so difficult to get a balance between practice and academic works. I'm so exhausted, both physically and mentally. But no matter how much homework I have, I still make practice as my first priority. Practice is endless and I don’t really want to leave the music department until I feel satisfied with the progress of the pieces. When I finally sit down to do my assignments or revise, it’s usually after 12 am. I usually work until 2am and then wake up at 6am. I actually don’t have to wake up so early every day because I only have 8am classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Yet, I want to make myself practise piano for a while before classes begin.

I am quite sad to look into the mirror every morning because my skin just keeps on getting worse.

Liszt Festival

上星期五, 鋼琴系有一個小型的會議, 系主任和幾位教授宣佈了來年有什麼特別的節目。

明年四月, American Liszt Society將會在我的大學舉行每年一度的Liszt Festival, 這festival將為期三日, ALS選了我學校作為活動場地, 原因之一是學校擁有Liszt生前最後一部鋼琴, 那部三角琴被存放在美術館, 而且負責籌備這活動的那位教授曾經跟著名鋼琴家Earl Wild學習, Earl Wild現年93歲, 他在浪漫時期作品的演繹很有名, 當中包括Liszt, 而ALS有意頒一個獎項給這位年老的鋼琴家。Liszt Festival將會是個各地的鋼琴家聚集的活動, 當然不能缺少演奏會, 教授希望可以由我大學的學生演奏全套Liszt Transcendental Etudes(超技練習曲), 這套一共十二首, 學校想選出十二位學生, 每人彈其中一首練習曲。Liszt的作品一向不會跟「容易」一詞扯上關係, 而Transcendental Etudes是非常難彈, 要用很多時間練習。我沒有學過任何一首Liszt Transcendental Etude, 但這個節目實在是非常吸引, 我覺得無論如何也應該嘗試一下。

Liszt Transcendental Etudes其中以No.8和No.10最多人彈, 偏偏我最愛No.10, 我也喜歡No.4, 不過No.10較短, 應該比較易掌握, 問題就是可能會有不少人爭彈這一首。

我要考慮一下選哪一首。No.4? No.10? 還是較為冷門的那些練習曲?

Fall term

Back to Kansas. Fall term will start tomorrow.

The trip back to the USA was fine. Since there were many international students on the flight, the economy class was overbooked. As I am a member of the premier silver card of this airline, I was upgraded to business class in the flight to Chicago. And I didn't have to pay money. The seats in the business class were much more comfortable but strangely, I couldn't sleep well on the plane. It was quite annoying some passengers sitting nearby snored really loudly.=.= It was so amazing that the flights were on time. This rarely happens. I didn't have to wait for a long time to get my luggage in Chicago airport.

I am going to live in the same hall for this school year. I live in a single room on a quiet floor. Other residents are not supposed to make loud noises that may disturb others.

This term is going to be very tough because I am going to take 19 credits (20 is the maximum). The subjects include Theory, Music History, German, Piano, Chamber Music, Violin and Piano Accompanying for dance. I wonder if I can still maintain high GPA.

隨想(三)

完成我想彈的樂曲的清彈......

P
Poulenc
1) Concerto for 2 Pianos & Orchestra in D minor, FP 61
2) Flute Sonata, Op.164

Prokofiev
1) Romeo & Juliet - 10 Pieces for Piano, Op.75
2) Toccata, Op.11
3) Piano Concerto No.2 in G minor, Op.16
4) Piano Concerto No.3 in C, Op.26
5) Piano Sonata No.2 in D minor, Op.14
6) Piano Sonata No.6 in A, Op.82
7) Piano Sonata No.7 in B-flat, Op.83
8) Overture on Hebrew Themes, Op.34

Q

R
Rachmaninoff
1) Piano Concerto No.1 in F-sharp minor, Op.1
2) Piano Concerto No.2 in C minor, Op.18
3) Piano Concerto No.3 in D minor, Op.30
4) Moments Musicaux, Op.16
5) 10 Preludes, Op.23
6) 13 Preludes, Op.32
7) Etudes-Tableaux, Op.33
8) Etudes-Tableaux, Op.39
9) Sonata for Cello & Piano in G minor, Op.19
10) Variations on a Theme of Chopin, Op.22
11) Vocalise, Op.34, No.14

Ravel
1) Miroirs
2) Gaspard de la Nuit
3) Jeux d'Eau
4) Piano Concerto in G
5) Piano Trio
6) La Valse (transcription for 2 pianos)
7) Tzigane

S
Saint-Saens
1) Piano Concerto No.2 in G minor, Op.22
2) Piano Concerto No.3 in E-flat, Op.29
3) Le Carnaval des Animaux (transcription for piano 4 hands)

Shostakovich
1) Piano Concerto No.1 in C minor, Op.35
2) Piano Trio No.2 in E minor, Op.67
3) Concertino for 2 pianos, Op.94
4) 24 Preludes & Fugues, Op.34

Scarlatti
1) Keyboard Sonatas (selected)

Schubert
1) Piano Sonata No.13 in A minor, D.845
2) Fantasie in F minor for piano duet, D.940
3) Quintet for Piano & Strings, D.667, "Trout"
4) Sonata for Arpeggione(or cello) & Piano in A minor, D.821

Schumann
1) Piano Sonata No.2 in G minor, Op.22
2) Symphonic Etudes, Op.13
3) Piano Concerto in A minor, Op.54
4) Carnaval, Op.9
5) Faschingsschwank aus Wien, Op.26
6) Violin Sonata No.1 in A minor, Op.105

Scriabin
- 不熟悉這作曲家, 不過一定會彈他的作品

Stravinsky
1) Sonata
2) 4 Studies
3) Piano Transcriptions from "Petrushka" & "The Firebird"

Sarasate
1) Carman Concert Fantasy, Op.25 (orchestra part)
2) Zigeunerweisen, Op.20 (orchestra part)

T
Tchaikovsky
1) Piano Concerto No.1, Op.23
2) Piano Concerto No.3, Op.75
3) The Seasons, Op.37a

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

(完)

隨想(二)

繼續列出我想彈的樂曲......

G
Ginastera
1) Suite de Danzas Criollas Op. 15
2) Piano Sonata No.1, Op.22

Gershwin
1) Rhapsody in Blue

Grieg
1) Piano Concerto in A minor, Op.16
2) Piano Sonata in E minor, Op.7

H
Haydn
1) Piano Sonata No.32 in B minor
2) Piano Sonata No.50 in C
3) Piano Sonata No.44 in G minor
4) Piano Sonata No.36 in C-sharp minor
5) Cello Concerto No.1 in C

Handel
1) Chaconne in G, HWV 435

I

J

K

L
Lalo
1) Cello Concerto in D minor
2) Symphonie Espagnole, Op.21

Liszt
1) Hungarian Rhapsodies Nos.2,11,12
2) Transcendantal Etudes Nos.4 & 10
3) "Un Sospiro" from 3 Concert Etudes
4) Piano Concerto No.1 in E-flat
5) Mephisto Waltz No.1
6) Concert Paraphrase by Rigoletto by Verdi
7) "Gnomenreigen" from 2 Konzertetuden
8) Schubert Song transcriptions "Erlkonig"
9) Liebestraume No.3

M
Mendelssohn
1) Piano Concerto No.1 in G minor, Op.25
2) Piano Trio No.1 in D minor, Op.49
3) Piano Trio No.2 in C minor, Op.66

Mozart
1) Piano Concerto No.20 in D minor, K.466
2) Piano Concerto No.21 in C, K.467
3) Piano Concerto No.24 in C minor, K.491
4) Piano Sonata No.14 in C minor, K.457

Mussorgsky
1) Pictures at an Exhibition

Muczynski
1) Desparate Measures (Paganini Variations)

Musto
1) Sextet for Clarinet, Two Violins, Viola, Cello & Piano

N

O

(續)

隨想(一)

某天晚上睡不着, 望着天花板想想自己有什麼曲目想獨奏、伴奏和合奏, 我發現自己原來很貪心, 哈哈。

按作曲家名字排序, 大概有以下這些作品:

A

B
J.S.Bach
1) Well-tempered Clavier I & II
3) Keyboard Concerto No.1 in D minor, BWV 1052

Barber
1) Piano Sonata, Op.26
2) Piano Concerto, Op.38
3) Excursions, Op.20

Bartok
1) Piano Sonata, Sz.80
2) Piano Concerto No.1, Sz.83

Beethoven
1) Piano Concertos Nos.2-5
2) Piano Sonata No.6 in F major, Op.10 No.2
3) Piano Sonata No.8 in C minor, Op.13, "Pathetique"
4) Piano Sonata No.11 in B-flat, Op.22
5) Piano Sonata No.23 in F minor, Op.57, "Appassionata"
6) Piano Sonata No.26 in E-flat, Op.81a, "Les Adieux"
7) Piano Sonata No.32 in C minor, Op.111
8) Fantasia for Piano, Chorus & Orchestra, Op.80
9) Sonata for Violin & Piano No.5 in F, Op.27, "Spring"
10) Sonata for Violin & Piano No.7 in C minor, Op.30, No.2
11) Sonata for Cello & Piano No.3 in A, Op.69
12) Triple Concerto, Op.56

Brahms
1) Piano Concerto No.1 in D minor, Op.15
2) 7 Fantasien, Op.116
3) 6 Klavierstucke, Op.118
4) Piano Quartet No.1 in G minor, Op.25
5) Piano Quintet in F minor, Op.34
6) Sonata for Viola (or Clarinet) & Piano No.2, Op.120, No.2
7) Sonata for Violin & Piano No.1, Op.78
8) Variations on a Theme of Paganini, Books I & II
9) Violin Concerto, Op.77

C
Chabrier
1) Bourree Fantasque

Chopin
1) 24 Preludes, Op.28
2) Piano Sonata Nos.2 & 3
3) Polonaise-Fantasie, Op.61
4) Andante Spianato et Grande Polonaise Brillante, Op.22
5) Ballade No.1 in G minor, Op.23
6) Ballade No.4 in F minor, Op.52
7) Nocturnes, Op.27
8) Piano Concertos Nos.1 & 2
9) Mazurkas, Op.33
10) Scherzo No.3 in C-sharp minor, Op.39
11) Scherzo No.4 in E, Op.54
12) Barcarolle, Op.60

D
Debussy
1) Estampes
2) L'isle Joyeuse
3) Images I & II
4) Sonata for Cello & Piano

Dvorak
1) Piano Quintet No.2, Op.81
2) Piano Trio No.4 in E minor, Op.90, "Dumky"
3) Cello Concerto in B minor, Op.104

E
Elgar
1) Elgar Cello Concerto in E minor, Op.85

F
Frank
1) Prelude, Chorale & Fugue
2) Cello Sonata in A

(續)

決定

上個月開完家庭會議, 考慮了一段時間, 還是選擇不轉校, 留待報讀碩士才報考音樂學院。

老父的想法也不是無道理, 一個人如果是有天份和勤奮, 不論是在一間名校或沒有名氣的學校, 他/她也可以很有成就, 名氣沒有什麼意思, 那些盲目追崇名校的人, 實則是對自己沒有信心, 所以要用學校的名氣來抬高自己身分。當然名校有它的好處, 在一個人材聚集的環境下, 學生能夠從朋輩身上學習, 這固然是好事, 但不一定沒有名氣的學校沒有出類拔萃的學生。加上音樂跟其他科目不同, 向一位好老師學習是最重要, 好老師不易找到, 著名的教授也不是跟每一個學生都合得來, 而且有很多鋼琴教授都愛發藝術家脾氣, 每星期跟這類老師上課也不好受。我的教授是一位非常仁慈的老伯伯, 而且教學經驗豐富, 有不少學生想成為他的學生但也不可以, 他的時間表已經編排得密痲痲, 教授願意收我為學生, 我其實是很幸運。

老父着我要知足。我現在已經讀大學, 又可以讀自己心儀的科目, 但以前中學的同學卻在準備明年的高考, 辛苦捱完高考又不一定考到大學, 即使入到大學, 也未必可以讀自己喜歡的科目。我不需要承受高考的壓力, 又可以在大學修讀自己喜歡的科目, 我不應該再抱怨學校有什麼不足之處。

做人要知足, 不要為了爭取更好的東西而忽略了自己所擁有的一切。世事沒有完美, 要學懂珍惜眼前的人和物。

這是我在今個暑假學會的人生道理。

筆記

印象中學會抄筆記應該是中一的事, 起初開學的時候老師在課堂上偶然會暂停一會, 讓我們抄完黑板上的東西才作講解, 後來大家適應了中一的學習模式, 老師便要我們邊聽邊抄。現在上到大學, 上課時不太需要抄筆記, 整個學期一個科目的筆記也只是數頁紙。

我沒有讀預科, 兩年的會考生涯算是最多筆記, 那時候我不太喜歡所修讀的科目, 加上已經決定了將來讀音樂, 我沒有很大決心要考取優異成績。那兩年可算是混混噩噩地過去, 上課時感到沉悶是經常發生的事, 既不可以睡覺, 又沒有什麼事可以做, 唯有靠抄筆記來打發時間, 我會刻意放慢抄筆記的速度, 又或者把筆記上的字體修飾得很端正, 這些都是極無聊的解悶方法, 但挺有用。有時候我也會感到內疚, 覺得自己浪費了很多時間, 但我又常常跟不上進度, 投入不到那些科目, 不過我需要會考證書來申請美國的大學, 所以無論如何也要捱過中四、五。

在學音樂上, 我個人覺得抄筆記沒有什麼用處。每次上大師班我都會見到不少人提着筆默默地寫, 而我總是什麼都不寫, 有時連筆記簿也不會拿出來, 一來我覺得那些筆記拿到回家後也是擱在一旁, 平時根本不會去翻看這些筆記, 最後大多數都是變成垃圾, 倒不如一開始便記在腦海裏, 我發現那是最有用的方法, 練琴時想起以前在大師班學過的東西便可以立即作嘗試, 省回抄和翻看筆記的時間。另外, 學音樂最重要是聆聽, 要學懂怎樣去聽才可以進步, 所謂的「聽」, 就是去聽每一個音的色彩、質感、當中的感覺等等, 還有作曲家想表達的感情...... 這是一個很複雜的步驟, 不但耳朵要對聲音很敏感, 而且要十分集中。正所謂「一心不能二用」, 抄筆記必定會分散了注意力, 那便不能夠「聽」得清楚, 不同類型的聲音當中的分別可能是很細微, 只是在落鍵的方法稍作改變已經會彈出不同的聲音, 聽上去可能是極小的分別, 卻可能會影響到整首樂曲的音樂表達。看着那些默默筆耕的人, 我只覺得可惜, 表面上他們像是收穫豐富, 帶着一頁頁的筆記離開, 但實則上他們可能沒有真正學到最重要的東西。

因此, 我選擇不寫筆記, 集中聽鋼琴師的講解和示範。